What is your favorite redneck joke?

its not really a joke but more of a adage.

“I support red, white, and blue…….redneck, white trash, and blue collar

i have a couple:
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.

This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occured, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, “Oh, Shit”.

Only the state of Montana was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
“Hold my beer and mind this!”

HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE A SECRET REDNECK JEDI

If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father… and your uncle…”

If you ever said the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue question to light up.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty excellent handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only self drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”

dont know they are all amusing

You might be a redneck if:

You’ve ever eaten something with running it over with your car

You cook lunch on your car’s radiator

You got a splendid deal on your house just because there was a sign on the front door that said “condemned”

Your house is mobile but none of the 17 cars in your yard are.

You can walk under your car without ducking.

You place an addition on your house by following these 4 simple steps:
1. use chainsaw to remove existing wall.
2. Drink beer
3. Stack beer cans to make new walls.
4. Spit tobacco on said cans to cause them to stick.

You don’t wear a shirt at work, and neither does your wife.

Redneck Driver’s License Application:
Last name: ________________
(Check appropriate box)
First name: First name:

[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] planter [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: __________________________
Lover’s Name: __________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of family living in household: ___
Number of family living in shed: ___
Number of family that are yours: ___

Mother’s Name: _______________________
Father’s Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ car ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please clarify:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a lined road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don’t know

I thought all that stuff was right…..( I’m English)