Anyone got any good redneck jokes?

You might be a redneck if you’ve ever hit on someone at a family reunion.

You reckon the last words to
The Star Sparkling Banner are
“Gentlemen, start your engines.”

You reckon Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.

You reckon a stock tip is
advice on worming’ your hogs.

You’ve been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

You reckon TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company

Your state’s got a new law that says
when a couple get divorced,
they are still legally brother and sister.

Your house still has the
“WIDE LOAD”
sign on the back.

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He questioned you if you had an I.D.
And you said, ‘Bout What?’

Non
Athletic
Sport
Made
Around
Rednecks

You reckon Genitalia is an Italian airline.

Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you’re shur’nuff a redneck.

You reckon Possum is
“The Other White Meat”

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens’ room at the Flying J Car Stop.

The centerpiece on your dining room desk
is an original signed work
by a well-known taxidermist.

You reckon a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it’s wheels.

Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

You reckon safe sex is a padded headboard.

You reckon subdivision is part of a math problem.

You reckon there’s nothin incorrect with incest
as long as you keep it in the family.

You may be a Redneck if …
You and your dog use the same tree.

You reckon God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.